Muahaha, sort of

First of all, MUAHAHAHAHAHA the race was canceled!

Secondly, I may have agreed to go with him tomorrow since it got rescheduled to then.

Right about now you are probably shaking your head and calling me a hypocrite. Don't worry I don't blame you. Let me tell you the story of how we got here.

I was doing my pout and ignore routine for when I'm mad at him. He text me on his way to the race asking me when I was going to stop hating him. We talked it out for a bit. He explained that he feels overwhelmed being home because he feels like I am expecting him to immediately be a perfect full time dad. He has been a little confused and absent lately which explains it. He has lost his keys at least 5 times since he's been home. He NEVER loses things.

I should have realized that it was going to be a huge culture shock coming home to a baby and all of his family but I was too focused on not being a single mom anymore and jumping into being a family that I didn't focus enough on him. In my defense though, he never once led on that he was struggling until he explained everything today.

He played the 4 hours of video games because he didn't have to think he could just unwind and de-stress. Which I can't blame him for that. I do feel bad.

So now we are here with me going to the race tomorrow. It's my peace offering and outreach. If he needs time to not think and just relax then I want to be there with him. He loves nascar. He used to work in Nascar so it really is a part of who he is and I need to accept that. And hey, if I learn to like it then that's just more time we get to spend together instead of me running into another room.

And a plus side? No baby for the day. It's just going to be the two of us which we haven't had in a year. So I can't help but be excited.

Reintegration is a struggle after all. I didn't think we would have to worry about it but I need to be patient.

Frustration

I don't know what is wrong with me. I am extremely pissed off at my husband right now. Let me explain.
We are in Florida right now. The trip started out to see his father and introduce him to Abigail. Then it turned into Nascar over load which is partially my fault. His uncle offered him a ticket to Daytona Sunday. I said he should definitely go since it's a great opportunity and a good way to welcome him home. When I said that I thought it was going to be like a 4 hour trip total. Turns out Daytona is 4 hours from Tampa where we are visiting. So it's 4 hours there, probably 4 hours or so for the race, and then 4 hours back. So that is an entire day away from each other.

I think I'm so pissed because I just got him back and now I have to let him go for a whole day. Which in retrospect is nothing but it feels like eternity right now. To top that off he spent 4 hours last night playing some stupid nascar racing game with his uncle instead of spending time with Abigail.

Then today we had the house to ourselves and Abigail was napping and instead of spending some time with me he turned on a nascar race. I mean seriously, how many friggin races are there in one weekend? It's ridiculous and I hate Nascar so much.

I thought this trip was going to be a nice vacation for us but I haven't stopped being pissed and miserable the entire time. We went to the zoo today but I couldn't enjoy myself because I was still pissed about the 4 hour video game playing last night. I hate that I am letting myself be so pissed but I am.

Tomorrow is going to be horrible. I want to enjoy myself but just the thought of him being gone all day at some stupid race while I play single mommy again infuriates me.

I hope I can chill out but it seems highly unlikely at this point.

Work

I really need to find a job. I've applied to a couple things but no response. I would love to get a job on base so that commuting would be easy with Abigail going to daycare on base. I applied to a job on base but I got a letter back saying I didn't get it because I didn't supply all of the necessary information. I don't know what else they wanted. Applying to on base jobs gives me ulcers. It's all so confusing. No other jobs ask me for KSA's. They obviously know they are confusing because they offer a class on understanding the KSA's better.
I applied to another tonight and as I'm typing this I realized I didn't send my letter of reference. Darn it!

I'm so frustrated with all of this. I have my bachelor's degree (well I will in like 3 months) and I can't get an entry level no degree mandatory job. I mean come on. I just want to get out of my house, make some money, and prove my worth!! Is that so much to ask for?

It's making me really nervous for next year/end of this year possibly, when I have to get a big girl career in Charlotte and be the sole money maker for my family. Like, really nervous. Sweat'n bullets sorta.

I need prayers.

HE"S HOME!!!

I went to bed at 9:45 pm Friday night thinking I had to be up at 4 am in order to be ready and on base by 6 for Jon to arrive at 8. I wake up at 11:15 ish to a text message from Jon saying I've landed in Cherry Point. After taking a second to put it all together I finally jumped out of bed at the realization that he was 4 hours early!!!

I still hadn't gotten an official update but I didn't hesitate to call and wake everyone up telling them to get ready and get here asap. We all got to base around 1 am. We got coffee and waited around for a couple hours. at about 3:45 we all got out of our cars and stood waiting. Jon text me to let me know he had left the armory and my heart dropped.

3 minutes later the buses were pulling into the parking lot.

They started unloading and I was staring at the first 2 buses looking for him. I couldn't see him anywhere!!

I turned around and guess who was standing there?!!

His first words to me? "Who are you looking for?" LOL

Then we posed for our first photo back together. 

He likes to make photos almost perfect. 

Then we handed Abigail over. 

And well here's the rest!

Welcome Home papa bear!!!

This is how we do it

How many people have seen that Jackson and Hewitt commercial where the black guy is dancing on the desk to the song "This is how we do it" because he did his taxes? Overall very funny. But my only request is that they didn't zoom in so close while he's wiggling his jiggly arms around. It was rather disgusting.

On another note, I finished my bikini wax. This time in the hands of a professional. I have to say that it wasn't anywhere near as torturous as I expected. I am actually planning on making it a regular event. Way easier than any other type of upkeep.

She even did my legs for free since I already attempted half myself. Which was an awesome deal.

Oh the joys of being a woman.

What the!!!

You can finish that statement. That's what I was screaming as I gave myself a partial bikini wax. I say partial because after I did one part I couldn't bring myself to finish it. Waxing is possibly the most painful thing I have ever endured.

If I ever become magical the first thing I will do is permanently remove all unwanted body hair, painlessly.

Seriously, being a girl sucks sometimes. Why do men get to be hairy and we have to torture ourselves?

Miserable

I hate base ER. I waited for 3 1/2 hours to have Abigail seen by the doctor. It took him about 30 seconds and I still think he just guessed. I'm so annoyed.
And we got out so late that the pharmacy was closed so no medications for her.
PLUS the doctor said I need to take her to her doctor tomorrow, which will turn out to be more like thursday or even friday since base takes forever and is always full.

I'm so stressed out right now I just want to cry. This is the last thing I want ever but especially with only a couple days before Jon comes home. I have so much to get done that I can't possibly accomplish anymore.

I've figured it out!!

I've been trying to figure out what to put on Jon's homecoming banner for a while now. I didn't want to do the usual sexual innuendo or simple welcome home. I wanted to be creative. And by george I think I've got it!!

Jon, if you read past this point and ruin the surprise I will be super upset and mad. So You're better off stopping right here. Thank you <3



Just incase...

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Jon actually came up with the idea without knowing it. He was joking and told me I better use glow in the dark paint if I make a banner because he's coming in at night and wont see it.
So that's just what I'm going to do.
I'm going to use a black sheet and write "If you can read this he's almost here<3" in glow in the dark paint.
During the day people will wonder why someone hung up a blank banner but at night everyone will be all like AWWW how sweet! lol.

At least I hope it works out. It would be pretty pathetic if you still couldn't read it at night lol.

Better do a test run ahead of time.

Did I write that?

Have you ever had a moment where you read something you wrote a long time ago and don't even remember writing it?

I had a new comment on an old post and I didn't even remember writing it. I remembered bits a pieces. I don't know if it's my horrible memory or not. I'd like to think I just get in the zone sometimes when I'm feeling expressive. But it's probably my lack of memory.

It's kind of nice though. The post was pretty inspirational and creative I was proud of myself haha.

Anyways, you should go read some of your old posts. They might send you down memory or lack of memory lane.

Homework blows

I really hate assignments. Half the time I think they are pointless busy work. I am so ready to finally be done with my degree. June 2 nd is the special day. 4 classes left in my undergraduate degree.

Now a big decision needs to be made. Do I immediately continue schooling towards my MBA? Do I wait? Do I continue at all?

I've always wanted to accomplish my master's degree but I'm worn out on schooling. After this year Jon is going back to school for his degree so unless I do something online I can't do it at all. My dream would be to get my associates in sonography so I can be an ultrasound technician. That can't be done online though so I would have to wait about 4 years. So, during that time I should probably just suck it up and finish my MBA in about a year and 1/2.

Oh school, you really stink.