Where are the manners?

Have you read THIS article yet?

It's about a 68 year old woman being brought to tears due to the torments from a group of teenage boys. It broke my heart.

It's so sad to see children acting like this. Especially when they are mistreating people who are their elders. I was taught to respect my elders no matter what. I was also taught manners and values which apparently are absent among many children these days.

I know one thing is for sure. My daughter will grow up knowing how to properly behave and treat people. She will learn respect and know how to use it. We needs to make sure the next generation isn't a bunch of miscreants like these ones.

Plans?

Do you think our lives are mapped out for us? That we have destinies?

I was thinking about this tonight, I believe in destiny, and for some reason Lake Champlain popped into my head.

I remember being in middle school and learning about the lakes and for some reason Lake Champlain made me pause. I don't know why I still remember this but for whatever reason it felt important at that time.

Once I graduated high school and went off to college I went to Champlain College in Burlington, Vermont. It was right on Lake Champlain. I haven't been at Champlain college in 3 years and it's just hitting me now. It was like something was telling me that Lake Champlain was going to be an important part of my life.

Strange right?

Random I know lol. Just wanted to put that out there.

I've been MIA

My life has been pretty blah lately. We just got back from our trip to NY which was incredible. But now I've started my new job. I am so excited to be working but I have to overcome something terribly painful in order to succeed.

Dropping Abigail off at daycare is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. The first day she was miserable the entire day. She refused to take a nap and when I went to pick her up, her eyes were red from crying and she just look exhausted. When she saw me she screamed mama! and ran into my arms. That made me feel so much better.

But today I just dropped her off again. This time I dropped her off about 2 hours before I actually needed to. Simply because the first day I dropped her off it was nap time and I think that contributed to her being miserable. So I wanted to get her in there before everyone took a nap. I hope it's for the better because I pay by the hour so it's really cutting my wages in half.

It wasn't any easier letting her go again today. They were outside when I got there and one of the teachers came right up and asked her to come into her arms. She did but she was saying mama and reaching for me. When I went back inside I watched through the window for a couple minutes. It was maybe only a whole minute before she started walking back to the door and asking for me. I felt terrible so I bolted out of the room in a heart beat before she saw me.

How does this get any easier? The only way I can think of it being easier is if my husband drops her off instead of me. He doesn't cry so it wont affect him like it does me. But he goes to work so early that it would never happen. I just hate leaving her with someone other than family. It hurts. It even hurts when I leave her with my mother in law. I just don't like not having her near me.

What doesn't help is that between paying for childcare and working I barely make any contribution to our income so it's barely worth it for me to leave her with someone else.

I know it's good for her to interact with other kids and they have a wonderful program for them. I just feel so guilty that I'm not providing that for her. I'm tearing up just talking about it.

It's just hard. Really hard.