I'm home

I'm finally back in North Carolina. Almost all settled into the new home. It's going to take a bit to be complete but I've got a little bit of time. Not much though!

Here are some pictures.

MilSpouse Quiz

Well everyone else is doing this so here it goes.

The Milspouse Quiz 

1. How did you and your spouse meet? 

We first met in highschool. He was the senior and I was a freshman. I had a huge crush on him. I'm talking looking forward to lunch every day because we sat at the same table and I could just stare at him. 

2. How old were you when you two met? 

I was probably 14 and he was probably 17
3. How long have you been together? 

We just celebrated our 2 year wedding anniversary. But we have been together for 4 1/2 ish years. 

4. Where are you and your spouse originally from? 

We are both from Fultonville, NY

5. How did you feel about him joining the military? 

I broke up with him. I gave him an ultimatum and he didn't pick me so I left. I was heart broken that he wouldn't have consulted me about it. He just kind of sprung it on me that he had decided to join. Obviously we got back together. The real kicker is that I started dating someone else, my best friends boyfriend who ironically was studying at Annapolis. I didn't even really like the guy I think it was my subconscious telling me I could date a military guy. It was just my safe way of easing myself into it since he was still in school. I really love my subconscious for having my back sometimes. Anyways, Jon tried for months to get me back and finally I was sick of pretending like I didn't love him with every inch of my soul. So he won me back and left for bootcamp a couple months later. 
6. Where did your spouse go to Basic Training? 

Parris Island, SC. Watching him graduate was the most incredible experience ever. 

7. Has your spouse ever been deployed? 

He's currently deployed. But comes home soon!!

8. Ever been to his promotion ceremony? 

Unfortunately not. He got promoted while in Afghanistan. But he had someone take pictures for me because he knew it upset me to miss it. 

9. How long have you been a military wife? 

2 years and 8 days. We've been together for this entire ride though supporting one another through it all. It's great<3
10. Did you marry him before or after he joined? 

About 10 months after. 

11. How did your husband propose? 

We went on a weekend trip to Cape Cod before he went to boot camp. We spent the entire weekend having as much fun possible. He didn't know he was going to propose that weekend. He didn't even have the ring. He made me a bubble bath and when I came out he looked all nervous and jittery. He came over to me and told me how much he loved me. Then he got down on one knee and took his father's ring off from his chain and asked me to marry him. He said "I don't have your ring just yet, but I wanted to ask you if you'd marry me." Or something sappy and romantic alone those lines. It was beautiful. When we got home he went to his mother's house and asked for his great grandmother's ring. It was all perfect. 
12. Where did you get married? 

At our church in town. 

13. How old were you two when you got married?

I was 19 he was 22. 

14. Did he wear his uniform on his wedding day? 

Yes he did. 

15. Where are you and your spouse currently stationed? 

Campe Lejeune, NC

16. Do you live on base? 

Nope. 
17. How long were you married when you had to go through your first separation? 

He did a few short trainings just a few months into our marriage. But we went an entire year before a deployment. 
18. What is your favorite base so far? 

I've only been at Lejeune but I like it. 

19. Do you think your spouse looks good in his uniform? 

Is this a real question? Of course I do.
20. Do you think military life is more advanced than civilian life? 

I don't know what you mean by advanced. Do things go a lot faster? Definitely. Do you grow up faster and mature faster? Yes. It allows you to be in your first year of marriage and have it feel as if it's been 30 years because you learn not to let the little things matter so you just get along so effortlessly. It's wonderful really. 
21. Do you like the benefits you receive as a military dependent? 

There aren't really any perks that you wouldn't get even if he was a civilian. Healthcare is nice but the company can be a pain in the tukas. Discounts are pretty nice but the only time it really makes a big difference is airlines and hotels. I guess my answer is I could live without them. 
22. Do you have a lot of military wife friends? 

Not really. I've never been the kind of person to have a million friends. I like having a few really good ones. Which I do have. I've met some really great military friends most of which are bloggers :-)
23. What is the hardest part of the military life? 

Not having control is pretty awful. There is no planning with the military which makes life a little difficult and stressful. But of course separations are horrible as well. 
24. Do you own military wife stuff? 

I have a military wife shirt and a bunch of military stuff from when Jon was in bootcamp and his first couple months. But the longer he is in the less I like to wear any of it. I do get a kick out of wearing my military wife shirt to the gym back home though. People look at me as if I'm in the military and you can see the intimidation. It's kind of funny!
25. Do you support your spouse as a member of the military? 

Of course I do. Although he really is the one who chose this path I agreed to marry him and support him through it. I'm so proud of everything he has done and accomplished. He deserves nothing less than my full support because he never lets me down. 

Irritated

I just deactivated my Facebook account and I'm going through what I assume is withdrawl. I open my computer and my mouse scrolls to where the facebook short cut used to be. I realize it's gone and I can't log on and I get annoyed.
I hate that I've let myself become so dependent on facebook. Some pointless internet site that allows way too many people into my life and does more harm than good.
I'm determined to get over this. I don't care about it. I don't have to read people's whining and complaining. Life will be better and I will only be on the computer when it's necessary for school or work.

Ok.

Now onto my next addiction, lejeuneyardsales.com...

Oh, you'll be a tricky one.

Woman like you

It's been quite a while since I cried in the car while listening to a country song. I started to think I was getting pretty tough. And then I heard Lee Brice sing Woman Like You. And I felt my eyes swelling up with tears. Out of all of the sappy country songs out that could have made me cry why this one? I mean seriously, have you heard Martina McBride with Love You Through It? Or Faith Hill's new one Come Home? Those are songs that should make me cry. Not Lee Brice.

Then I realized what it was. This song made me feel like Jon was home. Like it was him singing to me. It made me laugh which inevitable made me cry. It's a great song. It's a perfect song to show the overpowering humorous side to my husband while still seeing his romantic side. It even sounds like my husband singing. Have I mentioned how great my husband is at singing? That's all he ever has to do to make me smile.

So anyways, here it is. Sorry if you have the emotional strength of a new born baby like I do and this makes you cry. My bad.

Time

Have you ever wondered why time slows down when we are looking forward to something but speeds up when we wish it would freeze? I can't figure it out. Maybe if I convince myself that I didn't want my husband to come home time would speed up like it did when he left.
I don't understand why having a good time makes life seem shorter whereas being miserable makes it longer. Isn't life supposed to be a blessing? A gift? Something to enjoy. And yet the more you enjoy it the quicker it slips through your fingers.
I'm usually pretty good at understanding that there is a reason for everything but my brain is stumped on this one.
I had this theory once. When time seemed to be crawling it meant that someone desperately needed more time. Whatever the reason, to spend with a loved one maybe, they wished that time would slow down. It must have been very important because not only did their time slow down but everyone else's as well. Same for time speeding up. It helped me take a breath and relax instead of complaining about it. If my time had to slow down so that someone else could enjoy an important moment longer than I was honored to do so.
It's way better than just thinking time slows down when we anticipate something right? Plus it makes you wonder if our time speeding up is father time's way of catching us up? Yea, I bet your brain is working now huh?
haha

Anyways, my point is that time never fails to stop when I desperately want it to run.

Ok I'll say it I'm scared.

More like terrified. I just wrote about the possibility of my husband reenlisting, like yesterday, and well it only took a day to realize how ridiculous that was. So we are back to our original plan of getting out, him going to school to finish his degree while I put mine to good use.
And I'm really nervous. I haven't fully admitted that yet. I've tip toed around it but it's finally hit me like the time I was playing lazer tag and ran into a big metal pole while trying to avoid being shot. Could have just said a ton of bricks but I thought this was a little more descriptive.
Anyways, what the heck am I going to do? Sure, we will have the BAH as long as he is in college which will help out a ton but it's not everything. I need to be produce the majority of our family's income. With my first real job out of college.
I can't watch movies where the main character gets themselves in uncomfortable situations where you know they are going to fail. That's kind of how I feel about this. If I was staring in a movie and yet watching it at the same time I would be changing the channel right now.
I don't even know what I want to do with my degree. Which is a BA in Business Administration fyi incase anyone out there in the Charlotte, NC area is reading this and thinks I'm brilliant and necessary to the success of their business ;-). Worth a shot.
I was having a mini panic attack a little bit ago and remembered something that someone in some class at some point in my life told me to do when I get in a situation like this. A SWOT analysis on yourself. Listing your Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. I skip the WOT and just focus on my strengths. Also, add in what you love to do. I suppose those could be listed as opportunities but since I don't see myself becoming a professional volleyball player I'd rather not get my hopes up. Here it goes.

What I think I do best:

Write/edit
Organize
Make lists/budgets
Multi-task
Skim read
Research
Counsel
Problem solve

What I love to do:

Write/edit
Make lists/budgets
Problem solve
Shop
Play volleyball

Ok, so first of all that seriously felt great. I think that's the first time I've focused on my positives in a long time. Right off the bat you can see similarities in what I do well and what I love to do. I should probably explain my skim reading bullet. I hate reading anything other than books for pleasure fully. If someone sends me an informative email say on how to do something. I will immediately focus on the necessary points and discard the rest. Which may sound bad to some but I have found it's a huge asset. I don't have to waste my time sorting mumbo jumbo I can just chose the points I need and move on. If I were a CEO of a company I would want all of my emails short with bullet points. Another example is chapter reading for assignments. I rarely read a full chapter. I flip through the pages for the pertinent information and save the rest for possible reference later on. I think it's a skill but I understand some look at it as lazy. But it's not, I jut refuse to waste my time.

Anyways, what jumps out to me as potential careers from this list is something in the fields of human resources, finance, or something along the lines of communications or journalism. It's helped lead me in a direction and assure me I do have some sort of usable skill that I can focus on. But I'm still nervous.

My husband has so much faith in me and I just can't understand why I don't have faith in myself. I think it's the indefinite possibilities. Sometimes it's better to have fewer options than having to create one.

I know I'll figure it all out in time. Everything in my life always seems to come together after I stress and lose sleep over it. Kind of ironic that I listed one of my strengths as problem solving huh? Mostly other peoples. I like to be presented with a problem and find the best way to solve it. Anything from my friends boy troubles (I say boy because real men are a rare breed and wouldn't give any problems) to planning a move with a strict budget.

This post is ridiculously long but it felt good to just vent. Now back to working on my future. Fingers crossed.

Have I mentioned I like to plan?

I'm not sure I've mentioned it enough but I'm a planner. I like things laid out and scheduled ahead of time. Everything has a time and place.
That's why things like the military life and moving cause extreme anxiety. I hate the unknown. You can't plan for it which means you can't prepare for it.
This move has about maxed me out. I move next weekend and I couldn't wait that long to purchase new furniture. I've stalked Lejeune Yard Sales for weeks. I have found my living room set and bedroom set and thankfully the sellers are gracious enough to hold them until I get down there.
I have had our cable set for installation for a week now. I just set up water and electricity to be turned on before I get there. My last thing is internet which is proving to be a little challenging.
I have to hold myself back from ordering a mattress online. I mean who does that really? I keep telling myself it's absolutely necessary to lay on a mattress before purchasing one. But it's hard to deny the incredible post Christmas sales.
I still need to get a coffee table/accent tables, dining room table, mattress, and washer/ dryer set. I'm trying my best to hold off so I can have something to shop for while I'm down there. I get a huge thrill when I shop. Mainly for pieces like these because I go to thrift stores and search for gems. I hate paying full retail for furniture. It just doesn't make sense to me.
Anyways, the only thing I will be buying new is our mattress. I'm hoping to score an awesome deal on a washer/dryer set from LYS but so far it's not looking good. I might have to break down and purchase those new as well. But mark my words every piece of clothing I have will be worn before I give up the hunt!

On the other end of things, I mentioned how you can't plan with the military life. Which is completely true. We are discussing when we want to try for our second child and both agreed we wanted to immediately until we realized the horrid timing we would find ourselves in. Since he would be getting out next March we would only have a couple months to try and then we would have to put it on hold until after we moved. Which would turn in to several years since I would want to settle down into our new town and new career.
Well, this brought back the discussion of reenlistment. Not solely so we could continue baby making, but I expressed my hesitation about being the sole working person for the family. Once he gets out he planned on attending college again and since I will already have a bachelors I would be the one working.
So anyways, we are now discussing reenlistment. Part of me wishes I kept my mouth shut and never said anything because if he reenlists he is staying in until retirement and that means a lot more separation over the years. But the other part of me loves the military family and support. I know if I need support my girls have my back. I feel guilty for suggesting it though. I almost feel like I'm willing to let him risk his life so I don't have to be the sole provider. Incredibly selfish of me. But to be fair, if I was in his position I would want to stay in. Military retirement is an incredible benefit that they all deserve. It's a hard life but it's a rewarding one.

But it's nothing I can plan. All is out of my control. Which I'm semi alright with. If I don't have control of a situation I don't have to plan for it. It's when things are my responsibility that I get anxious and stressed.

Anyways, this was a long post just to say I love LYS for allowing me to get my furniture ahead of time.  I guess I needed a little vent session.