My wake up call

I woke up this morning to rain being hurled against my window by the wind. It honestly looks like a tsunami outside. My first thought was roll over and go to sleep. So I did that. Then it woke me up again so I got out of bed. As soon as I walked to the back door my jaw dropped. I couldn't even see through the glass door because the rain was constantly being thrown against it.

My next thought was "OMG I have to go out in this today!" Yep. I have a dentist appointment to get my last 2 teeth filled. I considered canceling but I really just want them done already. If I wait any longer I'm scared they wont stop being sensitive by Thanksgiving and I'll have to pick and chose what I eat and well that's not happening. So I kept my appointment.

My next thought, which probably should have been my first, was to check on the water stain above our bed. My husband noticed last night that there was a dripping noise and then we looked up and saw a nice sized water stain. So he got up into the attic and put a bucket over it to catch the water. Well we could still hear the dripping so he went back up and put a towel in the bucket. Much better.

Thankfully it didn't grow or collapse on us over night. Still a nuisance. That just shows how much rain we have had this week. It's ridiculous.

I let my dog out to go to the bathroom and he found all of the puddles. The whole strip next to our back fence is flooded. He does laps in it. He runs through it turns around and runs back. Repeatedly. It's kind of funny but annoying too.

Anyways, my day is going to be awful. Between teeth drilling and torrential down pours. Yuck.

I GOT IT!!!

I got the job!! The family is awesome and their little boy is very sweet. I am so excited!! :-)

Potential job

I was contacted yesterday by a woman who needs someone to watch her child before and after school. Her son has Asperger syndrome which is like a high functioning version of Autism. My brother has Asperger syndrome so I grew up with it and I am very comfortable around people who have it.

I have a meeting tonight with the family and I really hope they like me and want me to care for their son. I am really excited about being able to help out a family going through the same thing my family did. The only difference is that my brother didn't get diagnosed until late in life. Now people are more aware and diagnosing this early gives the children a better chance at a normal life.

This job is perfect. They will only need me for a couple hours a day and I will have the entire school day off unless there is a holiday or early dismissal. That means I can schedule my doctors appointments around work without having to take time off. Plus I will get to rest if I need to during the afternoons.

Lets keep our fingers crossed that I get the job!!

Rain, rain, more rain...

It has been raining for days here in North Carolina. I don't mind a rainy day. I don't feel so bad about laying around all day. When it's an entire week of rain it gets a bit dreary. I can't do anything because it's down pouring. I can't even let my dog out to go potty because my back yard is flooded and he has to swim to the high spot to poop.

Another downer is that we have Direct Tv. Which means we have a satellite. For those of you who have cable or time warner cable like I wanted, it means that when it rains our tv can't get signal and the shows pretty much just pause or stutter. It's ridiculously annoying and makes the day that much more boring.

I've never been a big tv watcher but when I don't have anything else to do all day it becomes a little bit of a habit to see whats on tv.

I try reading but I have to be in the mood to read and I can't find the motivation. I hate sitting on my computer because thats just as bad as watching tv all day.

I can only clean so much and I'm a fast cleaner so I can pretty much do my entire house in an hour. I don't have any hobbies like drawing or anything to keep me occupied that way either.

What do you do on rainy days?

So about the ball...

We aren't going now. For a couple reasons actually. There was only 100 tickets to be sold for the entire company. That means it was sold out before my husband ever found out about it. Awesome number 1. Awesome number 2 is that the tickets are $50 a person. REALLY? They know what kind of money we make, they know that is a little ridiculous. The worst part is they are less expensive for officers. That one makes sense lol.

So it being expensive doesn't matter since it's sold out anyways. I actually decided I wasn't too upset about it because the more I look at my dress the more I realize how fat I'm going to be. Also, I'm already in pain every day all day so what made me think I would want to be all dolled up in uncomfortable shoes on my feet for an entire night? NO IDEA! haha. That's why it was an easy decision when my husband told me that they are going to have a platoon ball so that everyone who didn't get tickets for the other one can still have a ball. Although the tickets are half the price the previous reasoning had me pretty much begging my husband not to make me go. That was easy since he's not much of a dress up and dance kind of guy anyways.

So long story short, no ball for us. I am COMPLETELY ok with it though. It really didn't register to me that I was pregnant and going to look nothing like I did in high school at prom until I went to the dress giveaway. I tried on so many dresses and everything made me look huge. When I tried on dresses before I didn't really have a huge belly. Now I'm definitely showing and the dresses are making sure I know it.

I had this image of me looking so glamorous and beautiful next to my husband and then I realized I'm not having one of those kind of pregnancies! There are two types of pregnancies ladies; the glow and the "get this baby out of me already." I am not having the glow type. That would be the ones you see on tv and of course nothing can happen that wonderfully. Instead I am 17 weeks pregnant and already so uncomfortable all the time that I am finding myself wishing this baby was out of me already.

Anyways, that means I would not only be uncomfortable through the entire ball, but it would be a miracle if I looked anywhere near glamorous that night.

So the next step is giving away my dresses that I have. I have posted 2 on lejeune yardsales already. I have 2 more that are from my proms but not only do not fit me anymore and probably never will again, but one is more of a high school homecoming dress. I haven't decided if I should post those too or not.

Any girls in the Lejeune area that needs a dress for the ball? Let me know and I will see if I can help you out!

You don't cook?

I have a question. Why are there women who don't cook? No wait let me rephrase. Why are there WIVES who don't cook?

It doesn't make sense to me. Do you order out every night for dinner? Or by frozen food that can just be popped in the oven? I am all for the quick dinner like chicken nuggets and fries but I can't imagine eating those every night. I absolutely love cooking. It not only smells delicious in my house every night but we have healthy meals for dinner.

Maybe this is why America has an obesity problem? In previous generations the wives made dinner every night and cooking was a necessary skill. Now we have such fast paced lives that maybe it's just too convenient to grab the Digiorno or call up some chinese.

When you cook a homemade meal you know exactly what you are eating and exactly what is going into your bodies. It feels great to be able to create amazing recipes or recreate favorite recipes. It really is a great skill to have.

When I sent my husband to work with left overs for lunch he actually has guys ask him where he got it from. When he said dinner from the night before that his wife made they are genuinely surprised that I cook for him. Can you believe this?

I don't know. Maybe I am a little old fashioned. I just believe that there should be a home cooked meal on the table whenever possible. I love going out to dinner so doing that once a week or so is great too. I also understand busy schedules and feeling like there isn't time. I had a faced paced childhood with lots of late sports games and dance recitals and my mom still made dinner most nights. We just ate a little later sometimes.

I never cooked as a kid. I watched my mom cook and I always knew that when I got married or lived on my own I would cook too. It's not something that you need to learn as a kid in order to do as an adult. If you can read a recipe you can cook.

So go cook for your man! Make him his favorite dinner and I promise you he will have a new twinkle in his eye. After all, the easiest way to a man's heart is through his tummy!

I Love You Mr. Sykes<3
You too Little Sykes<3

Semper Fi<3

My weekend.

This weekend was absolutely awful and then really great. I posted a little while ago about how my husband seems incapable of being able to use patience with me and how our communication stinks. Well it finally turned into a huge battle.

It started out with the dress event. I didn't expect to be gone all day. Maybe 2 hours tops but not like 6 hours. That apparently upset my husband in some way so by the time I got home he was in defense/payback mode. I got home around 4 and we barely talked from then until 7 or 8ish when he decided to go to the neighbors for a fire.

Well that annoyed me because he had a fire with them the night before and I didn't attend because the idea of sitting in a lawn chair made me want to cringe. (Pregnancy is doing a number on my ability to be comfortable anywhere). We hadn't seen each other all day and I thought the only reason we weren't talking once I got home was because he was watching football. Apparently I was wrong. But anyways, he went across the street with captain morgan in one hand and beer in the other leaving me livid.

So what did I do? Complained to my mom of course. I should have known when he asked me to buy coke at the grocery store that there was going to be some drinking going on this weekend.

Anyways, into the good stuff. Earlier he had made a comment along the lines of I didn't want to go to the fire because it's a huge headache for me to be social or something like that. That ticked me off because I assumed he should have known it was the fact that I can't sit on a couch and be comfortable there was no way I was going to suffer  for 4 hours outside in a lawn chair. BUT he's a man and doesn't think like we do.

So when he got over there he text me saying there are lots of people here you should come. I said no I'm good. Then I asked him to be quiet when he got home because he slams doors when hes sober and I didn't want to think of how bad he would be trashed. He said ok and was nice about it.

I then asked him if he wouldn't mind trying to sleep in the spare room to see if that made a difference in how I slept at night. That pretty much started it all. He didn't understand that it was because I can't sleep with him in the same bed because of his habits. He took it as the beginning to the end of our marriage.

After that it turned into a huge argument and I could tell with every text that he was getting drunker and drunker. That made me madder and madder. I was telling him what we need to work on and that he is an awful drunk and he told me that I should just leave since I am going to leave him on deployment anyways. STOP RIGHT THERE. That was my last straw. That made me so angry.

He said a lot of things that I knew he was only saying because he was drunk which stinks. It ended with him coming home and slamming all of the doors. I got up out of bed and went into the spare room to yell at him. That led to me grabbing his cell phone and chucking it at the wall and walking out. I then packed my suitcase of clothes and was fully prepared to leave. I should probably add that the things he said that I knew he didn't mean, well actually I was wondering if he really meant it at this point, was telling me to just leave over and over again.

So I was packing and he came in to stop me. I should mention I have never been that angry in my life. I have never thrown anything or raised my hand or anything along those lines. I am still embarrassed about how angry I let myself get the other night.

I ended up collapsing on the bathroom floor balling my eyes out and he came in to held me. I did fight him at first to let me go but I gave in after a while. It all ended with both of us sitting on our bed crying and talking.

He pointed out how this always happens with us. We always get to a point where we can't stand one another anymore and we just lash out. In the past we just left but each time we have been slowly getting stronger through it. I think this was our final realization that something needs to change. We actually talked and discussed what we need to work on to fix this.

We both have a problem with letting each other know when something is bothering us at the time it's bothering us. That is a huge issue we are going to fix now. Another one is him opening up to me a little more. He doesn't show his emotions and it leaves me wondering way too much. Also, his patience. Obviously mine too but I have been using all of my patience that is why I snapped so badly. I had none left.

Our biggest problem is communication. We are aware of it and hopefully going to work on it. We have talked about it before but never really done anything about it but I feel really good about it this time.

Anyways, if you made it all the way through this thank you for reading. I wrote this to hopefully make someone aware of their problems too. We both really hate that we let it escalade to what it became and I hope that before you let it get there you think of this and remember to step back take a breath and just talk!

Talking is so important.

I love my husband with everything I have. He really is an amazing person and an awesome husband. We just have some things to work on.

I Love You Mr. Sykes<3
You too Little Sykes<3

Semper Fi<3