I held a baby

I held a baby the other day. A brand spakin' new one. Ok like 2 days old but still. She weighed 5 lbs and was like 16'' long. Yea tiny! And she was a day past her due date not premie.

Anyways, it made me realize just how big Abigail has gotten. When I looked at her after holding this tiny little baby I was sure that she was the size of a toddler. Time does go by so fast!! But I couldn't be happier with my big, smiley, happy, playful baby girl :-)

Abi, 1st day home

Abi, 3 months old. 

Happy Memorial Day

Today was wonderful. Abigail and I went to my tiny little town's parade. I held my tears in quite well while I watched the veterans go by. I did let some slip but no one noticed so they don't count. Abigail looked so darn cute that people in the parade were taking pictures of her. Yea, I have an adorable child.

After this parade we went to an even tinier town's parade, my husband's town about 5 miles away if that. It was over before we blinked twice but it was great. My mother in law puts together the parade and ceremony every year and she does such a wonderful job. We had little flags for each branch of service placed in the ground by our big flag. This is where the tears would have been flowing if I didn't have super duper strength. Then once everyone started their speeches I also had to muster up all of my strength, aka not pay one bit of attention to what anyone was saying. I know it's awful but I'm just not strong enough right now. I didn't want to be the lady in the corner crying her eyes out ya know?

We had another picnic at my husband's grandparent's house. Here are some pictures of our Memoral Day weekend.

Memorial Day Celebrations

Every Memorial Day weekend my husband's family has their reunion. Last year neither of us made it and the year before it was just me...same as this year. We are yet to make it to one together which makes it hard. I love his family and seeing them always makes me happy. It's just hard to not have my husband with me because these are the things we are supposed to be sharing.

I'm really hoping that next year we will be able to go together. I like to think that I am strong but just seeing red, white and blue makes my heart sting. So you can imagine it's a pretty hard time right about now.

I'm filled with emotions and I'm completely amazed I can keep them all in. I have extreme pride in our country and our military, even more pride in my husband, complete sadness, sooo much love, but mostly it feels like someone is punching me in the throat constantly trying to get me to cry.

I just want this all to be over with. I want my husband back and our family to be together. For now I'm looking forward to R&R which is coming up in the next couple months. Then again I know that I have to give him back and go through all of these stages again.

Oh and this will sound completely horrible but the last thing I want to do while my husband is in a war zone is think about how many people have given their lives for this country. I am honored, proud and beyond thankful but it makes my skin crawl with the possibility and I can't add that to my emotional wrecking ball right now.

Stay positive and be thankful. (repeat 100 times a day)

I hate money suckers

This is going to be a huge I hate post.

I hate tricare and I hate student loan companies. Here is why.

I just got a bill in the mail from my dr's office with a balance of $320.10. What is this from? My last doctor's appointment. WHAT THE HELL?? Since when do we have to pay that much for a damn doctor's appointment that is in fact MANDATORY 6 weeks after my surgery. I'm about to swear, but this pisses me off. I don't have time right now but I am about to call everyone involved and (swearing again) bitch.

Second, student loan companies. I am still unclear on what is going on with this all but apparently I owe this company like $600 something and I'm over due. First of all, I have never once heard of this company before. They have my father's, and grandmother's information and were calling them in order to get my contact information. They say that they have sent me information or bills but I haven't received anything. They say it's because my phone number and address has changed. Is that really my problem when I have no idea who the hell they are? They are sending me all of my back mail now and let me tell you I am going to bitch to all of these people as well once that arrives.

I hate money sucking corporate ass holes. I don't ever swear, or very rarely, on my blog so obviously I am extremely pissed about this.

This is why people don't go to college because it's too expensive to pay out of pocket and everyone gets screwed with student loans. I hate you all.

Yay me!

I am patting myself on the back right now. I have not only lost my baby weight but I am back to what I weighed when I was a freshman in high school! Hello 130 lbs, I missed you. Now, I don't look exactly like I did I just weigh the same. I have bigger boobies and I was incredibly muscular and toned back then. My arms are about all that is toned on my body currently. But I'm working on it. 

I only have one picture of me from my freshman year, at least I'm pretty sure it's my freshman year. 

Here it is. This is where I want to get back to. I miss this bathing suit too. Ironic that my bikini is camo.

This is me at my prom my junior year. I weighed about 135 in this pic. I'm in the purple dress if you didn't figure that one out.

I don't have any recent pics yet but I will soon. Most likely this weekend since I have my husband's family reunion to attend. 

The point is my weight is awesome and now it's time to get some tonage back. 10 months without working out really has one heck of a toll on your body. 

12 weeks after having my wonderful daughter I have lost 40 pounds! Oh, and I only put 30 on during my pregnancy ;-) Yea I rock. 

So how did I do it? Well first of all I was lucky and carried almost all of my baby weight in my belly. A week after she was born without having done any exercise or anything I lost 12 lbs. I didn't really start to work out until 6 weeks after she was born. At that point I weighed 145. 

For the last 6 weeks I have been working out every day (almost) and doing zumba twice a week. My working out consists of 25-30 mins on the eliptical, minimal weight lifting, and some ab workouts. My eliptical at the gym has a work out plan that not only makes you do regular eliptical moves but you also have to reverse your stride, lift your heels, lift your toes in a reverse stride, and use only your arms for a nice break and arm workout. It's seriously the best invention EVER.

As for zumba. I would say most of my body I owe to zumba. All of the dancing has trimmed my waist and really slimmed me down. It's extremely fun and I always look forward to it so it makes working out easy. 

My husband and I were talking last night about working out and I was joking around about looking like a friend who is a female body builder. He said that he would love to see me work to figure out how far I can push myself. At first I laughed so hard I almost peed. Thinking about all of those muscles makes me laugh. Then I started to think of how awesome it would be to be able to physically transform by body the way I want. Now let me tell you this girl is drop dead gorgeous. She only looks all muscular when she does her flexing. If you saw her in public you would just think she is a fit woman. 

It's something to think about. I don't want to compete but now that my husband has put the idea of pushing my body's limits in my head I'm kind of intrigued. 

Anyways... this post is really just a huge pat on my back that I really needed. I feel less like a whale and more like I'm beautiful again :-) Woo hoo!

Getting to know you

Here are a couple questions so you can get to know me. Linked from MannLand5.

the q's.

1. what's your favorite rainy day activity?

-Cleaning the house.

2. what time do you go to bed?

-Lately it's been around 11-12. 

3. how many magazines do you subscribe to?

-None, but I have been considering a few. 

4. did you sell all your belongings because you thought the world was ending yesterday?

-Oh you know it ;-)

5. what's your beauty obssesion?

-Anything that makes me feel skinny. I will go out in public with no make up on as long as what I'm wearing makes me feel thin and beautiful. (not talking rail thin here, just my comfortable weight)

6. if you could only wear one designer/brand for the rest of your life...what would it be?

-I'm not into names. If I like it and it's affordable I'll wear it. Idk it's D&G or prada or w/e. If it's as ugly as one of those naked dogs with the one section of hair on its head, then I'm not going to wear it. And they usually are.

7. what's your summer must have?

-sunglasses.

8. do you make weekly dinner menus?

-I try my best to. 

Happy Armed Forces Day!

Honoring all who serve this wonderful country no matter what branch!

I stole this from here. She gives a wonderful explanation so you should go read her post if you're unfamiliar with this holiday.

Thanks to our military members. A huge thanks to my husband of course<3 I miss you papa bear<3