In the movies guys have one night a week they get together to shoot the shit, drink some beers, and play poker. Are we supposed to take the time to be away from one another?
Jon and I have brought this up a couple times. I'm not sure if it's just the military speaking or if we are strange but we really like being together. All the time. 24/7. We have been together for almost 5 years now and we aren't sick of each other at all.
I can honestly say that I can spend every second of every day with my husband and still kiss him goodnight with a smile on my face. Is this strange? Does it have a ticking time bomb strapped to it? I don't know. All I know is that people are constantly telling me that it's their definition of healthy to designate time to themselves and/or with their friends.
I will admit that I feel awful when the girls are all getting together for dinner and I decline because it's a night that my husband is home and I don't want to leave him. But that's the military wife in me. It physically sickens me to purposely take time away from my husband. I just feel guilty for doing it. We went a year without one another and even before his deployment we would go months at a time without one another so it seems like I'm unappreciative of our time together.
I know that some girls get pretty annoyed by this. I can't blame them. I mean who wants to be scheduled in only when my husband isn't home so they can feel clearly inferior?
I wonder if this feeling will go away once he get's out? Am I seriously the only one or are you all just holding back on me?
Although I do have to admit, I really enjoy time away from my mommy duties. I think about her the entire time and I feel horrible about leaving her but the freedom I feel is incredible.
5 comments:
I hate being away from Wil also, but I'm also a military wife so I don't know the answer if it's just military wife's or not. I understand every part of this post though. It took a lot of my dad talking me into to go to Texas for Easter without him because he can't get off work. I hope it's not a ticking time bomb either because I never get sick of him.
You're not the only one. Maybe not as intense as what you describe, I prefer to spend time with my husband, too. I felt guilty for being away from him for a long time. Well, we'll be married 5 years in a couple short months, so maybe not "that" long, but anyway, I think I was worried that my desire for being around him all the time was becoming obsessive, so I learned how to spend time with my friends and family and appreciate them without inadvertently devaluing them. I actually took a couple of two-week trips without my husband to visit friends and family. The separation brought us even closer, which was great. We started our relationship with letters, so I just slipped right back into the habit of writing to him. :)
I have some really honest friends and when they felt rejected, they let me know. That was pretty helpful. Now I am able to go out once a week at night for karaoke or whatever, just me and a girlfriend or two, and come home and it's good. I just had to find something I really enjoyed before I was married that I couldn't do quite as much once I got married. For me, that was definitely music. :)
I'm one of the girls who gets annoyed by this, and you know that. Making plans around other husbands schedules is so annoying. Danny goes golfing and has hobbies, I like girls nights, I see him every single day and need more than just that in my life. But I'm probably the only one in Jville who feels this way, which is why I no longer plan girls nights out and look forward to going to MA when girls actually wanna go out and do something!
I can understand wanting to be with your husband all the time. I have been a mil wife and am also a cop wife, which means Skip is gone at night every other week. I still need me time and girl time. Not every day, but both he and I need to spend a little time apart to have something to talk about and miss each other a little bit. Since the hubs is gone from me so much, sometimes I need to get out so he knows what it's like to miss me a bit too. IT's healthy
When Ryan and I were newly weds and up until her left for California, this was me. If he had duty or work I'd have no problem hanging out with my girls... but if he was home it was OUR time. It was special.
Now that we have been apart so long it might be that way again for awhile... but eventually I will be fine going out with the girls and letting my husband get his guy time. It is important we each have our own friends as well as friends together.
Post a Comment