It's a harsh realization that although we are past half way, we still have just under a normal deployment left.
It hurts. I've stayed really positive this whole deployment and I don't want to let that slide. But this new found thought has really spun me around.
My heart hurts. All I can think about is how much I miss him and how much my soul aches to be near him again. I've had countless people tell me just because you're in love doesn't mean you need to be around that person all the time. They obviously have never been separated for so long.
I told him today that my heart hurts so much that I wish I could take it out and put it in a box for when he returns, just so I didn't have to feel the pain. That's true, but what's also true is that in between the pain is the love.
The pain wouldn't hurt as bad without the love but the love wouldn't be so amazing if it wasn't for the pain. Irony is a cruel concept.
So here's to another half a year without him physically by my side. Nothing can stop what we've got. Not distance, pain, or shear torture that is this deployment.
3 comments:
For what its worth you have handled this deployment way better than a lot of girls I know. Its ok to be down at times, we all have our moments. Just remember he will be home before you know it. And you always have your blog where you can vent lol. I hope you have a great day :)
It always sucks when you hear about your friends having their husband's back... I know you'll make it, you're strong!
You are such a strong, amazing woman! I could not imagine a eyar long deployment with a new baby girl... but you are doing so so well. My husband is in the same country and I feel like I am falling apart some days. I have no business complaining at all but it is your blog and you can vent away! We're here to listen (:
Post a Comment